Self-Reflection: My Greatest Ally

Self-reflection, it’s what 2022 was full of; and a path of deep self-healing is what it led to.

Unintentionally, 2022 became the year that I was unapologetically real and honest with myself. 

I entered the year on a high note, off all medications, on vacation in the Keys with my in-laws after a great Christmas holiday spent relaxing. 

What I came home to (other than a killer tan and a snowy forecast) was a job I was still incredibly unhappy with. I came down with the big C. This was followed by months of ultimate exhaustion, the inevitable passing of someone very special to me, being forced to quit my job due to my symptoms, and the emotional rollercoaster of coming off of hormonal birth control through it all. 

What I call this “perfect storm” or “series of unfortunate events” is what catapulted me to look for something deeper within myself mentally and physically. I had corrected my spinal curvature but was becoming subluxated (out of alignment) frequently due to the stress I was under. I had not fixed the root cause of my symptoms. My bucket was full. I was experiencing times where I was numb to everything and other times where I would break down sobbing for hours, inconsolable. I felt as though I was at the peak of my health just a few weeks prior, soon followed by intense digestive issues and emotional mayhem. The symptoms I had were close to reaching the intensity of my initial diagnosis in high school.

Having previously committed mentally to a new lifestyle of holistic health, I had already implemented a corrective chiropractic plan and dietary changes. I knew these two changes were really only scratching the surface of a lifetime of trauma and 14 years of diagnosed dis-ease (and likely much longer of disease process). I knew I needed to address prior trauma, toxins in my body, and stress – the root causes.

All aspects of my life were off track. I was unemployed by the end of February and was questioning everything about myself. Regardless, I felt like although I was at my lowest low, I was being given a fresh start. I didn’t really know where to begin other than to find a doctor who could do extensive labs and give me the facts.

Being the data driven and type A person that I am, that’s exactly what I did. Unfortunately, my primary care provider would not run them and I was forced once again to find other options. I found a Functional Medicine doctor and I got several pages in lab results back from her. They weren’t surprising given how I felt. But it was the hour-long explanation of the results that stuck with me. Once again, I found a doctor who was surpassing every experience I’d ever had with a conventional provider. She explained the how, why, and helped develop a personalized step by step path forward. We started to meet on a monthly basis, and she helped guide me through some of the toughest times.

Healing for me from this point on took place in several phases. Often, we think health comes quickly. We have a cold, we go to the doctor, we get antibiotics to take for a week, and then we’re on our merry way. However, for me I have realized that this is not health and this will not lead to healing. It may help you feel better in the short term, but what is happening in the long term? 

We’re just suppressing what is there.

While I definitely think there is a place for acute medical care (more on my recent hospital stay later), I have found that symptoms are our body’s way of telling us something bigger is going on. Our body is adapting in order to protect us. Once I started to dig into why I was having symptoms in the first place, my healing really began.

I walked through what I like to call several concrete phases of healing. Sometimes I feel like I’m still walking through them. Although I think of them in order, it isn’t necessarily true that when one phase ends another beings. They are fluid, and many are overlapping.

Each phase of healing be it physical, mental, or spiritual has been so definitive in my journey so far, they warrant their own post. These are all to come. And my journey is still unraveling. Once I heal one thing, I’m able to uncover and dive into something else. All of these things that I’ve been suppressing with medications my entire life, I’m now able to lean into.

I sit here writing this 17 months after getting back from that vacation in the Keys. 17 months after being in such a state of distress and confusion. Looking back, even I have surprised myself with the progress I’ve made over the past year+. And more than anything, I am thankful.

Thankful for my health. Thankful for the journey. And incredibly thankful I found one of my favorite Doctors, Dr. Kathryn Heidt.

Functional medicine is often dismissed. In reality, it helps us understand the root causes of our issues. Tests are run that our insurance won’t cover. I believe we should invest in our health beyond what insurance will cover, because, well it’s INSURANCE. There if we have an emergency, but not there to keep us well. I wish I had done this long before taking such powerful medications that most likely altered some things in my body beyond repair (next time you take any medication read the long list of side-effects and ingredients).

If you have any symptoms (even migraines, allergies, sleeplessness, PMS) and want to jump in and find a functional provider, let me help you. Contact me here or email me at hello.Penny.Health@gmail.com. It can certainly be pricey to see a functional provider, but being sick is not affordable either. Give up getting your nails done or eating out on weekends for 1 month and you can afford to see a functional provider. Trust me, you will not regret it!